Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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