Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
