Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
honey bunches of taint.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
