So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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