whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
