elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
