I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
