just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
porn star boner night. come get it.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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