Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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