I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
When did angry sex become our thing?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
