just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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