i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
