Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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