so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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