They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
