I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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