yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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