Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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