I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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