She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
