Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
