I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
