lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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