Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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