omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
