You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
