dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
