there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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