i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm determined to sit on that face.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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