i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
