the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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