why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
