Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
