Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
