I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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