At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she told me i tasted like america
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
