but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
