dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
