She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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