susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
