Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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