i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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