even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
