Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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