Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
