Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
