So drunk its hurt
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
