He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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