Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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