Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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