Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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