singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize