now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
