yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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