So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Semen is not good for contacts.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
