Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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